Ahh, fall. There’s something about the changing leaves, bonfires, cozy sweaters, lack of mosquitos and overall magical feeling of fall. School starts, football season is in full gear and everyone generally seems to be more excited.
The change of season tends to bring about other changes though. I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels it. Whether you suddenly feel like you need to re-arrange your living room, get rid of things, move or get a hair cut – it’s just a fact that fall brings change. Here’s the deal though, change can sometimes be scary and uncomfortable.
I’m no stranger to change. A few years ago I owned a home in Cedar Falls and was following the “steps to growing up”. But I came across a great opportunity in Des Moines, so I moved and completely changed my life. It was hard. I was living on my own for the first time in my life. I was making major decisions and changes in my life. But through all the stress and change, for the first time in a long time I had confidence and strength. I was making decisions for myself. I was taking care of myself. It was life changing.
Another instance of change wasn’t nearly as big of a jump, but it had just as big of an impact on me as my above-mentioned journey. This last spring, my boyfriend and I decided to move in together and we got a pretty good deal on an apartment very close to my old one so we made the move. There were some other things going on in life when we first moved in together and let me tell you… I struggled so hard. It was almost a solid three months before I started feeling normal in the new environment with a new roommate. My anxiety was through the roof and I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was causing it so I blamed in on different things. Turns out I'd been repressing a lot of emotions for a very long time. Mix that with a love of building walls and just a general fear of change and yeah, it makes sense that my anxiety was in full swing. I started journaling, talked to my mom, saw a counselor, cried (a lot), but I carried on and faced each day. Finally, normal came back, I learned to embrace vulnerability and open up to my partner and I truly love our space.
It’s all a process. Different life changes affect people differently. Some people can move all over the place and keep a smile on their faces the whole time. Some people can get rid of all their belongings and start fresh without batting an eye. Some people can’t decide on a haircut without tears. Some people get frustrated changing up their morning routine. Everyone is different and that’s okay. I know I can’t move without struggles – but that will never keep me from making a move. I just have to keep my self-care toolkit ready to go to embrace my struggles and fears as well as I can.
If you’re facing change and are struggling – take time to check in with yourself. Try to figure out what is making you uncomfortable and why. To do this, I journal or talk it out. Spend some time taking care of your mental health – take a bath, go for a walk, try meditating or breathing techniques, paint your nails or meet up with a friend for coffee or ice cream. If it’s affecting your day to day life and you need more help, there’s nothing wrong with seeing a counselor or therapist. They can help you sort through your thoughts or give you techniques to keep your mind off things or face things head on. It’s important to know what you need to take care of yourself.
Let's face it, you have to get uncomfortable and go through change to grow. I mean, just look at the trees. Their leaves change colors, fall off and then when it’s time they bloom again.
I guess what I’m saying is, change can be hard. It can be challenging, uncomfortable and scary. But it can also be so wonderful.
Live big.