Recently I was at an outdoor event for women and one of the ladies I was talking to asked if I was very outdoorsy. I thought about it and told her, “Not really. I mean, I camp and climb sometimes and stuff, but I guess not really.”
As our speaker started talking, I had that conversation going through my mind. Why did I tell her that? I mean, no I haven’t gone on any intense backpacking trips or survived off the wilderness, but I’ve been camping most my life. I love going on hikes and wandering trails. I’ve taken classes and tried new things. But I don't have the right clothes or the proper skill set to fully qualify as outdoorsy, in my mind.
This is something I’ve seen come up more and more - especially for women, it seems. In fact, in the psychology world, this behavior is often categorized as “Imposter Syndrome.” Time after time, I see people (myself included) downplay accomplishments and skills and feel like frauds in the things they do and love.
The more I think about it, I’ve been doing that my whole adult life. I’ve had a few people try to call me a photographer and I’d immediately respond that I just like taking pictures. When people tell others that I have a website, I tell them it’s just a blog thing. I even react that way when my boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful. “But my hair is always a mess”, I’ll quickly respond.
Have you ever had moments like that? Why is it so hard to feel proud of the things we do and the things we are?
I’ve seen people take beautiful photos, so I feel like I’m not good enough to be a photographer. My writing isn’t good enough to make me a writer. I don’t snowboard well enough to be a true snowboarder. I’m not pretty enough to be beautiful. And I haven’t done enough in the wild to be outdoorsy. It all comes down to feeling like we’re not enough. It’s like we’ve created these invisible lines that we have to cross in order to feel like we can be or do these things.
As a kid or early teen, I had blind confidence in most the things I did. Not to the point of being boastful, but I wasn’t shy about the pictures I took. I walked around with my camera 24/7 and posted on Facebook for everyone to check out my website that featured my work. I was determined that I was going to write and take pictures for an extreme sport publication. I was a snowboarder. And you know what? I thought of myself as outdoorsy.
So anyway, I guess this is my way of saying that I’m tired of feeling like I’m not enough and struggling to reach the invisible lines I created. I’m ready to start owning who I am and what I do. And you know what, I am outdoorsy as heck!
What are some of the things you’re holding yourself back from? What are some of the things you don’t feel like you’re enough to claim? Are you an artist? A photographer? A boss? A dancer? An explorer? I think it’s time to start looking at the lines you’ve drawn for yourself and start claiming the things you are - because you are incredible, smart, wild, beautiful and you are enough.
Live big.